Heroes

May 22nd, 2007 by andit

In tonight’s season finale of NBC Heroes, I expected a season’s end with a BANG.   Nevertheless, I saw no more than an episode full of short bursts of slowly dragging tales that finally converged to an uneventful end….the apparent "deaths"of peter and nathan patrelli…..  yes, the fact that Hiro was the one who killed sylar was, in my part, (in the absence of a better word) cool…but, a sudden change of heart from Nathan.. an unselfish Nathan???…and peter, being such a baby in the end????? limited show of talents?????? all this season we waited for something ….better? gee….

Yes…I am disappointed.  But wait…seeing Hiro Nakamura in 1600s Kyoto, a Chapter 2 2-minute teaser…I see promise…..till next year…damn it!

recently

April 30th, 2007 by andit

recently i’ve been lazy
lazy to do anything worth doing
no more late nite rendevous at wooden
none of that early morning loop-a-loop ’round the hood
i’ve just been sitting on my ass
dreamin’

good things

April 5th, 2007 by andit

- you know that time in a movie, when you’ve reached one climax then things start to dim down a bit, steady, waiting for things to pick up again…it’s like that…yeah let’s see what’s next.
- watched first nba game live…. a shame, been here more than a decade and that was the first! clippers pretty much took over lakers way from the start.
- got upgraded from fourth to third, got permission to include in thesis….ah one down…one main just waiting to go out..after that? one or two more main ones??? man…maybe i’ll stick with one…need to move on and start living you know.
- been thinking about going for a hike or two or three…. things are getting busy with work, but I really really want to do that hike-on-a ridge thing….want to feel like on top of the world…hahah or just california…or just la..  hmm..need to make these trips backcountry for sure… yeah just keep walking, camp only when it gets dark.
- need to focus
- need to focus
- yeah need to focus
- i need to start writing.

oooo

March 25th, 2007 by andit

gue botak.

early last week, I got an offer, not a firm one yet, for a life outside the us.  intriguing, of course.  i’m getting tired of this place. 

other than that, business as usual.  ooo… maybe things are getting better, or maybe not, the jury’s still out on that.

all and all….the time to wrap things up and get on with my life is coming closer and closer….

Destiny

January 17th, 2007 by andit

What are you destined to be?  What is your role in life?  Where do you fit in? What are you meant to be?  Who knows all these? 

It’s probably impossible to know exactly what is your destiny in life.  Such is almost entirely a question of faith.  Nonetheless, I have recently been informed that it is possible to make a guess, ironically, by looking at your own statistics.  Think about it?  What have you gone through in life so far?  What has consistently been your role?  What sort of things occur almost repeatedly?  Where have you fit in? Is that what you are destined to be/to do?

OK, just another of my babbling

Done

November 28th, 2006 by andit

done for this year. next year a must.

whatever

November 24th, 2006 by andit

whatever reason(s) that I’m doing this, i really hope it’ll be worth it
I want to finish.
outlook don’t look too good. broken down for about a week..perhaps more….tense, tight, stiff, whatever you may call it.. shouldn’t have worked on my legs the other day…stupid…should’ve broken new pairs..stupid…should’ve cut down on the smokes….stupid…should’ve swim abit more…lazy….should’ve eaten better….

gonna be cold…wet…maybe snowy…hilly….yeah…freakin’ tough choice for a first timer.

can’t sleeep…anxious…oooooooooooo this shit better be worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then again..
can’t give up… remember the beginning…the surprising end to a struggle… this may perhaps be a closure.. my contribution.
This for you.

njrit…

November 19th, 2006 by andit

anjing…tinggal seminggue lagi kaki sakit..anjing anjing anjing!

dream

November 5th, 2006 by andit

this morning I dreamt….. finally! i don’t know what to make of it..

the last ….

October 7th, 2006 by andit

The dreadful feeling of approaching the big three 0 leaves
you thinking if this is all it. Sure, everything has turned out pretty much as planned (or at least within plus or
minus 5, 10, or 25%, depending on who you are). And that’s exactly why it’s bothering you. Has life given up on you? Has it no more
surprises left to offer? Is this it? Are you supposed to live the rest of it
like those before you?

Whether it’s about moving on to the next phase, failing to
work out a marriage, crying over losses, or simply not being ready to give up
the luxury of banging different bimbos every other night (or every night),
everyone need a break, a time to reflect and ponder; a time for making choices. In the end, you can either stick with what
you have: work it out or try to bring out the best out of the worst. Or you can say: screw this shit, move on, and
find something different, risky, uncertain, and adventurous for the sole
purpose of self discovery: life is only but one. Either should work just fine (who to say
otherwise? You don’t know what’s ahead beyond the horizon)

 

Perhaps it’s about the fear of facing the uncertainty of
tomorrow. Not only has the “regularity”
of every day life boxed you inside a tiny cubicle, you can smell the boredom of
those before you, compounded by an exemplary demonstration: no such thing is
long lasting. And when that surprise
(last one?) suddenly appears out of nowhere, seducing you to live life with a
spice of spontaneity (like back in the days, childhood, teenage years, college,
or grad school, again, depending on who you are), even tricking you into
gambling what you have build for so long, you suddenly realize and appreciate
what you have all along. This is of
course a reminder of how things work (or least in my interpretation). The dream or plan at first seems like a
pretense not ever going to materialize. When
the realization comes that life has actually gone as planned, the flame of
excitement has already faded. Crossing a
busy crossroads can be confusing and the temptations can push you into making
quick decisions without thinking about the consequences. You then find yourself in a hole. Of course, when it comes to making choices, one realizes that a
decision cannot be unmade. The essence
can still be recovered by accepting the truth, facing it, and sticking with
it. It will never be the same, but it’s
better than staying behind and living the past in the present.

 

Of course this is just my own perspective of what I saw
(take a guess). The message is quite
straightforward, although I do sense some subtlety in some respect. You kinda have to concentrate to get a sense
of what is going on because too many things are happening (and too simple?). I
still honestly think this can somehow be branded chick flick, but the message
is quite a reminder of how our appreciation of the present is often blurred
with the expectation or uncertainty of tomorrow.

 

All in all, this kinda reminded me of how the year of 2006
has gone so far. A year of many
happenings I say, more than I can ask for. A reminder that the bad choices, stupid decisions, tragedies, missteps,
missed opportunities, disappointments, failures, conflicts, misinterpretation, and the
things you did not mean to say or do, can not be unmade. But the experiences gained from these are so
valuable that, in an alternative perspective, they can be thought as the
beginnings of the most wonderful things yet to come. In short, keep dreaming big and taking a far
reaching outlook. Keep it positive,
though. Live life at the present; take
it one day at a time because tomorrow is today. Don’t occupy your mind today worrying about tomorrow. You might get a slap in the face once in a
while, but don’t let it keep you away from moving ahead. And, something I often forget, be spontaneous
once a while (or often).  To avoid
prejudicial tendencies, a zero mindset (in the context of an open mind) can
take you far.

 

All right, enough with this spiel.